Prayer to Sigyn for a Lover's Madness

by Seawalker

VeraSigynLokiYou did not cause the look in their eye,

The racking of their body in remembered

Agony. The eyes that see not you but

Something worse, of which you will bear the brunt.

You did not cause the screams at night,

But you will be the one there to quiet them.

You did not cause the reasons for mistrust,

For suspicion, for fear, but you will find them

Pointed at you. You did not cause the seething,

Roiling poison in the brain, the venom that makes

Everything look twisted, warped, distorted,

Hopeless and hateful. You did not make them

The way they are, but now you must live with it

Or abandon them and flee. You were not responsible

For what was done, but you are now responsible

For what must be done.

 

Lady, give me the strength to hold on in the face

Of that madness, to offer help again and again,

To know when to push and when to back away,

When to be there for them and when to keep

My own boundaries, or lose myself to despair.

Send help to them, to us, to me as well

That someday we might have the peace

That eludes us, again and again. You who watched

Your lover descend into wild-eyed insanity

From a thousand years of pain, and never gave in,

Never left his side until release came, and then

Walked him, babbling and shrunken, to a secret

Place of safety, help me to protect myself

And our love, long enough to do what must be done.

For I cannot see an end to this road save one,

And only you can say that there is hope and health

Beyond suffering. Show me the way,

O Lady of Endurance, before I lose

Both my lover and myself.

O Sigyn, hold my love close

When I cannot, and hold me

In your other hand.

 

Artwork by Vera Bolshakowa.