You did not cause the look in their eye,
The racking of their body in remembered
Agony. The eyes that see not you but
Something worse, of which you will bear the brunt.
You did not cause the screams at night,
But you will be the one there to quiet them.
You did not cause the reasons for mistrust,
For suspicion, for fear, but you will find them
Pointed at you. You did not cause the seething,
Roiling poison in the brain, the venom that makes
Everything look twisted, warped, distorted,
Hopeless and hateful. You did not make them
The way they are, but now you must live with it
Or abandon them and flee. You were not responsible
For what was done, but you are now responsible
For what must be done.
Lady, give me the strength to hold on in the face
Of that madness, to offer help again and again,
To know when to push and when to back away,
When to be there for them and when to keep
My own boundaries, or lose myself to despair.
Send help to them, to us, to me as well
That someday we might have the peace
That eludes us, again and again. You who watched
Your lover descend into wild-eyed insanity
From a thousand years of pain, and never gave in,
Never left his side until release came, and then
Walked him, babbling and shrunken, to a secret
Place of safety, help me to protect myself
And our love, long enough to do what must be done.
For I cannot see an end to this road save one,
And only you can say that there is hope and health
Beyond suffering. Show me the way,
O Lady of Endurance, before I lose
Both my lover and myself.
O Sigyn, hold my love close
When I cannot, and hold me
In your other hand.
Artwork by Vera Bolshakowa.