frith-seeking I am

though a wolf’s grin haunts me

thus healing minds din

I shall speak of you, serpent king.

Of you, who stunned me awake in the cold

of my first northern winter, who came to me bold

through the mouth of a giantess, blue haired

who kissed me and disapeared.

I shall speak fair of you, fair one,

who gives shelter to the shunned.

Stunning, immaculate chaos you are,

dancing ungraspable in fire and frost, like a bloody star.

 

and you, breaker of molds, old one,

Knew of me in those long-gone days,

young and blind, dice in your hands that you rolled

beneath the dwindling sun-rays

upon the ever shifting sand

 

Scarce can I forget

Your voice like ripping silk

that rustled psyche branches

drunk on audhumblas milk

lost in a wood of your ilk

yellow eyes flickered in the mist.

 

the howl of the unknown wind

chills me, and I think of you.

the moon grins into my mind

and I wished for you

the day came, lucid, bright

and I let you go

stumbling back to the known

 

Mysterious you are, once forever condemned

Free you are, chainless, hemmed by smiling shadows

flawed like a broken diamond

dagger, assigned to Dagr, a mandala of turmoil

that boils in Hels cauldron

 

Father of the disowned

Father of the in-between

Father of the fierce

Husband of the wolf chieftess

 

I say, in meekness, before the holy kindred

 

that You were the blade wyrd used to split me

that You were the shadow of an endless tree

that You were the longing in me

For something beautiful one last time,

something like the way you touched me.

 

But youth, that blind pink flame of promise, is gone

and in its place, knowing,

and standing tall in the awning of morning,

I shall say, great Lord of discord,

 

that with my innocence in pieces, I became wise

and felt the strength within me,

and rose above the flies.

And finding scraps of long-gone ravings

I thought of you, saw you with new eyes,

and smiled, pushing through.

 

Artwork by Sanna.