Trickster

by Sophie Oberlander

LokiOld14

 

I never sought You.

Those places deep within my heart were far too burned and scarred

To let You in, hard like misshapen stone.

Or so I thought. But I gave much

The first time I hung on that Tree.

Not enough, by far, but just enough to shatter that wall of stone

The barest fragment breaking free.

I heard Your whisper, but turned aside my faceY

You could not be speaking to me.

I felt Your gentle touch cradling my wounded spirit

As You cradled Odin,

His body bloodied, His spirit on fire beneath that Tree

Long before I climbed its branches.

Was it through Your laughter that You taught me to love You?

Or through the tenderness of Your caress?

I have seen a face of You that few bother to see.

I have felt Your burning passion, gentle and tender beneath the Tree.

Brother, Lover, Friend,

No image of God quite prepared me for You.

You eased away my terror with Your wicked cavorting,

Making a broken child laugh by playing the fool.

I have seen Sigyn's quiet contentment,

And the love behind Your games.

I no longer understand the trepidation in which others call Your name.

I have seen Your other face too,

When You took me to Your daughter's realm.

I have seen You, locked in ecstasy,

Summoning up Her wards and wights for me.

My heart's stone did not so much break

As melt beneath Your flame.

I have tasted Your rage, Your fury at my hurt,

Reveled in the darkest glee

With which You opened the gates of Niflheim to defend me.

No one told me how much You cherish Your children.

I have seen You, Trickster, weeping in anguish

Every one of Your children's' wounds piercing Your heart.

And I have seen You in battle, Odin's equal,

Though Yours a far darker art.

I have heard Your song,

Far sweeter than I ever knew it could be,

As You took my hand, and led me from that Tree.

If it Your stories I cherish most, as we walk Bifrost bridge,

Dancing patterns amongst the stars.

You placed my hands upon the web, and taught me songs to weave.

As I hung for Asgard, through You, for Hella's realm I reached.

I know how You are feared, or mocked, or thought long bound.

But I know too, it was Your hand guiding me

Through my darkest despair and pain.

And how can I fear Your deepest love,

When it is the freedom of my heart I've gained?

Loki, now it is Your burning that I seek.

Let us mingle songs beneath the Tree,

For I adore the flame you have ignited in me.