Guardian of the Gate
by Raven Kaldera
You were there for me as I waited,
Sitting in the intensive care unit,
Stark white walls and the beep of machines,
The respirator hissing in his slack mouth,
His eyes fixed as a doll's. I waited,
Prayed, talked to him and to myself,
Ran the beads through my fingers,
Left with a tense smile to the nurses,
Knowing I would be back again tomorrow.
You were there for me, vigilant maiden,
Saying nothing, but you had my back,
A steady presence in all that silent confusion.
His life or death was not mine to choose,
And I prayed for those upon who it fell
That they might choose rightly in spite
Of all emotions to the contrary.
I missed the moment when you lowered
Your dark and shining spear,
Beckoned him through the Dark Gate
And let it close behind him - only the call,
He's gone. And still you had my back
Through all the planning, the candles,
The digging of the little grave of ashes,
The calling and arrangements,
The navigating of a family's anger,
The potluck, all the things one must do
Just when one least wishes to do them.
Guardian of the Gate who knows how to do
What is necessary, when it is necessary,
Keep my back straight as your spear
In the face of all the damned details of Death.
Artwork by Abby Helasdottir for the Giants' Tarot.